I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
