She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
