i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
