is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
