i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
