you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
