i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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