p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
