used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
