did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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