You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
