I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
