Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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