i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
