I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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