Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
