Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
