So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
