you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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