I want to have your abortion
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
