Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
