so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
