The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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