windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
