sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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