So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
