its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
