Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He? As in you personified your dick?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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