summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
