Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
