we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
