i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
