theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Drake has all the answers
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
