i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
