soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
