they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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