jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
