you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
