Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
