He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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