what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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