she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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