I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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