All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
