how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
