at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
