I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
