he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
