Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
