Where did you get a picture of my penis
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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