he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
