I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
