i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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