i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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