O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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