lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
